Jun 28

Man Class

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My mother sent this to me. Oh yes. I laughed good.

Summer Classes for Men at

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday,June 27th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday12:00for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?–Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday10:00 PMfor 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.


Class 5
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at7:00 PM


Class 6
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday7:00 PM


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch–Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at7:00 PMfor 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’snoon, 2 hours.


Class 11
Learning to Live–Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at7:00 PM, location to be determined


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.


Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at7:00 PMfor 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

7 Responses to “Man Class”

  1. jihadgene Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 11:26 am

    I’ll have you know that I am a constant lifter of the toilet seat. My wife demands it! After having ensured the toilet seat is in the up-right position, I piss near and all around the general area of the toilet bowl! Once my bladder has been completely voided, I always make sure to place the seat back down in the girl- friendly position.

  2. dogpoop Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    i would say at least 65% of these classes would result in my death

  3. Barmy Mama Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Mr. H needs class #7

  4. Gym Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    I almost fell out of my chair for number 11. If I had a dollar for every wife and girlfriend that said. “Hey, I’m not your mother.” I’d have enough for a gallon of gas. In Oklahoma, not here in San Diego.

  5. Tammi Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 6:11 am

    Is there a “group rate”? You know, can I get a discount if I sign someone up for all of the classes?

    ;-)

  6. Barmy Mama Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    If there is, then I think we should kidnap all the guys we know, round ‘em up in a cattle truck and ship ‘em off for a bit o’ learnin’s.

    I probably shouldn’t be–I should keep my mouth shut, but I never learned about tact–but I’m curious about what classes the guys think we should take. This thought train reminds me of why I read Mr. H’s men’s magazines. Not because I’m interested in seeing scantily clad women draped upside-down over couches or reading about fart jokes, but because occasionally there is a serious article or two that provides me insight into what guys really think of us. So far my research has only pulled up enough facts for me to conclude that they seem confused and that to deal with their confusion they use a desperate kind of humor.

  7. That 1 Guy Says:
    July 5th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Okay. There might be a class that I could use. Perhaps even two… but not likely. I’m pretty damned near perfect as it is. Though, I’m wondering if that may play into the fact that I’m still single. Womens like to mold and shape their menfolks into what they consider perfect. With me, it’s a moot point. How does one improve upon perfection?

    Oh… and no comment about your research. ;)

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