I give you pictures.

The Laugh of Ebil.  Seriously, it’s like Attack of the Giant Ankle Biter.  “BWWRAAARRRR!!  I TEACH YOU TO PUT ME DOWN FOR A NAP!!  *stomp stomp stomp*”

I carved my pumpkin while Mr. H was away at work today and placed it on the step for him to see when he got home.  Mr. H sees the gruesome mess and enlists the help of two straws and one of my butter knives to play along.

I feel a mild sense of embarrassment for not knowing how to work a sewing machine and am very tempted to learn. The college I’m attending is offering non-credit classes for this sort of thing.

And while looking at those classes I found a ton of CRAFT CLASSES! ZOMG! <-- Okay, now that was pretty girly. I miss learning new crafts, though. I haven’t taken a class in a really long time. They have a pretty sweet looking Glass Camp and then there’s a beginning silversmith course. WHEEE!

What’s gonna work? Teeeeeamwork.
What’s gonna work?! TEEEEEEEAMWORK!

Oh my god it’s in my head.

Gedditout GEDDITOUT!

We’re not too big and we’re not too tough, but when we work together we’ve got the right stuff.

GoooooOOOOOO Wonder Pets! YAAAAAY!

*claws desperately at her ears*

You know, I like bacon, but I cannot STAND the way it makes the house smell after I cook it. Especially the next morning. I think that next time I need to fry up some bacon, I’m going to fire up the grill and cook outside. Blech.

Oh yeah, what did I need the bacon for? I made chunky, cheesey, bacon, potato and corn soup. Hey, I just remembered that I have some fresh chives. Should I throw some in there or just sprinkle some on the top of each serving as I dish them out?

Too much? Maybe that’s a little overboard when it’s just dinner for Mr. Husband and The Shake. Whether I have any or not, I don’t know. I bought some strawberry Welches soda and downed about three cans while I was cooking. Cookin be terstee bid nez.

Also, I had all that bacon grease sitting at the bottom of the pan so I fried up some crab* cakes.

* The first time I typed that, it came out as “crap”. They were not crap, by any means. But Shake ate them all so you can’t have any.
*points* HA ha!

So we’ve got the entire kitchen moved over and unpacked, and yet I’m still acting like there is no food in the house, and all my pots and pans and dishes and such are still in boxes, by going out to eat every day. (Yet another run-on to add to my portfolio of obnoxiously long sentences.)

WTF?

I really hope that I get over this phase soon, like hopefully by the time this is all done and over with, because if I keep this up I’ll gain all that, uh, baby weight back. Curious, I looked up the calories for everything I ate yesterday and came up with a number over 2400. If I counted correctly, then that’s about two days worth of food for me in one day. Holy crap.

In related news:  I will also start to go well out of my way, down the hall, before I remember that we have a master bathroom.  Having an actual master bath is a first for me.

So this is my new office. Once again I’m suffering from Scary Barewallsitis. Any ideas? Damn room needs some warming up. Really, it’s not usually so blue in here — the walls are kind of a light sand color — but we have no shades yet and it’s a bit overcast out.

Oh yeah, and any ideas for that blank strip under my arm would be nice. My tattoo artist says (and he’s right) that it would be a shame to fill it up with background. But anything I think of is usually followed with the thought, “Do I really want that coming out of my armpit?”

Also, yes those are my real nails. I don’t grow them out that way on purpose, I just forget to cut them and that’s the way they turn out. Which reminds me, time to grab the clippers. I can’t type for shit with nails.

Sort of. We don’t have all the stuff in the new place yet, but I have spent the last two nights here. On the floor. The rest of our big items will be moved this weekend.

Apparently the new house only has two rooms wired for cable: the family room and the master bedroom. That means that I don’t have a way to connect my big-assed PC to the internet and I’m using my broken laptop to connect wirelessly.

Luckily the master bedroom is adjacent to the office upstairs and, even luckier, the cable line runs up through the adjoining wall. All I have to do is split the cable line that comes up from the basement and cut a new hole in the wall of the office so that we can have cable in both rooms. That’s a relief because if the cable came up in another wall of the master bedroom (like on the opposite side of the room), I would have had to run a line from the box in the basement all the way up to the second floor office. Nay, scratch that. I would have hired someone else to run a line from the box in the basement all the way up to the second floor office. I’d sooner volunteer for a colonoscopy than to try to run wires through the walls of my house. What a pain in the ass.

Anyway, while I can connect to the interwebs wirelessly via the laptop with a burnt out screen, I am also unable to access several of the applications that a I like to use. WoW being one of the first that comes to mind. I don’t think the old lappy can handle the graphics so I doubt I’ll be installing it. We’ll see. Until then, I’ve got to get up the motivation to pull apart the cable connection in the MBr and cut holes in my walls.

In other news, the neighbors just stopped by. It was awfully nice of them. We chuckled over the fact that their names were so similar to ours (Ron and Donna) then they gave us a pumpkin picture frame, some candy, and some AWESOME cinnamon muffins all in a wire basket. I couldn’t resist and helped myself to one of those muffins. They tasted like they were brushed with butter and then shaken in cinnamon sugar. Guuuuhhhhdrool.

I think that later on, after Rob has had his fill of the internet and decompressed from a day at work, we’ll head over to Menards to get our mailbox.

*Chants AC/DC-like* THUN-DAR! THUN-DAR! THUN-DAR!

It’s 0235 and there is no sleeping. Fucking Mt Dew.

P.S. On second thought, fucking Mt Dew sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant activity. I would think that the carbonation would be extra burny on one’s sensitive bits…

O, the strange and wondrous things I ponder in the middle of a sleepless night!

Ugh, I should know better than to forget to eat all day and then tell Mr. Husband to bring home a huge meal from Taco Hell for me. Tonight I ate a crunch wrap, a fire taco, a burrito supreme, and half that bag of curly cinnamon twist things that comes in the Big Box meal deal. I also drank an entire 32oz cup of Mt Dew Baja Blast. Yeah, at this hour. I’m going to be up all night. HURRAH CAFFEINE!!! That means I get several more hours of WoW in before I have to pack up my computer tomorrow. All RIGHT! :p

So I weighed myself before I ate and then again afterward, and there was a difference of three pounds. Does that mean I just consumed three pounds of food?! Holy shit. No wonder I feel so sick. Or maybe it’s because I was dumb enough to eat food from a National Taco Franchise. I feel like barfing, but I’ve got this huge aversion, bordering on phobia (okay, I’ll admit, it’s a phobia), toward vomit. While I was pregnant I’d hold it in until I was about the same shade of green as my BDUs, I was sweating bullets, and the room was practically spinning. At the end of the day I’d sit in my truck, long after everyone had departed, trying to muster up the motivation to drive home. And just before I was promoted to the esteemed rank of Civilian First Class, some jerk Sergeant made some asshole comment about how I couldn’t possibly be that sick because he hadn’t seen me throw up yet. Fucker. I should have slipped Ipecac into his coffee and then harped about how it couldn’t be that bad.

Wow, reminiscing about that time doesn’t make me feel any less sick.

It’s times like this that I consider never going out to eat ever again. Once we’re into the new house and I have full use of a working kitchen again, I’m going to get the bulk of my food from the farmers market. I love going to the one downtown, and there is another one fairly near the new place, but I think they are both a seasonal kind of event. You’d think that with Nebraska being so agriculturally oriented, there would be more emphasis on these sorts of things.

Awesome, now I’m rambling. Must be the unnatural red dye in the taco shell that’s making me so random tonight.

You Should Be a Ghost

You are seen as shy and introverted. You like to blend in… or disappear. You see Halloween as the day you can sit back and enjoy what other people are doing. You don’t scare all that easily on Halloween. If anything, you tend to scare people. You don’t try to be scary, but you do tend to lurk around and catch people by surprise.

What Classic Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

Funny, they hit the nail on the head with this one.