How to survive when your oven breaks: Use that ancient toaster oven that’s been sitting on the counter above your dishwasher for years. You know the one — you use it to reheat the occasional slice of pizza and wonder if that makes it worth even owning a toaster oven.
All right, so our oven didn’t break completely. It just won’t heat up unless we crank the dial past 450 F. About the only thing safe in there at the moment are those frozen tater tots, but even those have to be kept a close eye on lest we end up with little lumps of coal.
In sporadic bouts of mommy rot, I’ll forget that my oven is now a crematorium and throw something together that requires a normal oven for baking. Not wanting to waste things, I then turn to my lonely toaster oven. Do you know how long it takes to make 36 peanut butter cookies in a toaster oven? I can only make them 3 at a time.
And now for something completely different; this is how long I could survive if chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor.
h/t@Richmond who is apparently worth 10 seconds more than I.
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 am
Well heck! I thought I’d last a bit longer than 44 seconds. Must be your Marine training.
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:19 am
Ha,
I also lasted 10 seconds longer, still I died and dead is dead. Only I had 10 more seconds of terror. Nice! I like the idea of an urn for cookies. Did you burn any before you switched to the TO?
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
1 minute 35 seconds. Yeah, that Veloci Raptor ain’t nothing once you salt and pepper his raggedy ass. How long should I cook him in that oven of yours? If he gets burnt it won’t bother me one bit. Velociraptor, my ass!
October 4th, 2008 at 2:45 am
i don’t know if you have HTML enabled so this may be a garbled mess!
I could survive for 1 minute, 38 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor
October 5th, 2008 at 7:58 am
OK…so I considered the whole velociraptor challenge last night as a was trying to get some sleep. I figure that a person could survive the velociraptor challenge. None of this fighting back crap! If you’re willing to lose an arm and beat the beast with it….why not a foot. Kick the velociraptor in the face with your chained foot. The velociraptor bites off your foot. The chain slips off. You beat it out of there as fast as you can, bleeding profusely, but faster than a velociraptor chained to a bunkbed. The person who issued the test was asking the wrong questions.
October 5th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Gene, I have no clue why Akismet thinks that your comments, and only your comments, are spam. Want me to delete some of those? *L*
October 5th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Yes please.